Da Slaughta at Glorg’s Pond

Rottingbones Waaghcasta stood before the Goblin army, and looked at their annoying green faces. Oh, to have some proper Orc Boyz! Still, its was his first command, and he was confident of victory (sort of). “Yella Moonz, Bluu Moonz? Yuz gonna form da middle wiv da trollz. We gunna charge up da center and stomp dem der peasants before dey can pick der nosez! Keep yer spinnin-loonies-o-death ready.. yer gunna needs dem. Spideys? Take da flanks, and slow down dem horseys. Arra gobbos? You and da snotlings on der right. Shamans to da front…”

As the greenskin mob took their positions, the Orc Shaman nervously surveyed the battlefield. The heavily armoured Bretonnian cavalry was positioned to sweep down upon his east flank. If he was lucky, these would take too long to move around Glorg’s Pond, or would be devastated by the Rock Lobba and Spear Chucka he had deployed on Big Lumpy Hill. The Pegasus Knights were clearly hoping to to make a run at the war machines, but perhaps the Spideys on the flank would slow or divert them, or his shamans might inflict enough spell-damage on their rather small unit to make it break. As for the village itself… well, it was a Gobbo village, and he didn’t much care… plus his hope was to break the Bretonnian foot-soldiers in the centre as fast as possible, rather than battle for position against a mobile enemy.

* *

Sir Cumfrence called his fellow Paladins together. “It is a pity that our beloved Liege, Baron Calhew, cannot be here –as you know, he has gone to rally more support from his fellow Border Princes for this campaign against the Greenskin horde. However, with Our Lady’s Blessing, and the sharp steel of our lances and swords, I am sure we will do him proud this day.

Sir Perfluous–You and Sir N’Dippity are to take the Knights Errant and the Knights of the Realm, and circle around ye foul greenskin huts that you see in yonder distance. Having done so, strike their flanks, and strike them hard. Remember your Knightly vows… and show no mercy to these aberrations!”

The Paladins nodded, as behind them the Errantry Knights pranced and galloped their warhorses, eager for battle.

“Pegasus riders? You are to take your noble winged steeds, and sweep around on the west. Try to remove those evil contraptions of war from that yonder hill, so that we may triumph this day unharassed by large spears or heavy rocks falling on us from above.

The Pegasus Knights leapt into the air and twirled around some, clearly showing off.

“Sir Tandeath and I will hold the centre with the Men-at-Arms and Peasant Bow…” At this, Sir Tandeath snorted a little in derision.. clearly he would have preferred to have been slaughtering goblins at the head of a cavalry charge than minding an unwashed array of villains and serfs. His attitude brought a glare and a sharp rebuke from his commander. “Fear not, Sir Tandeath your time will come in today’s battle will come. And have ye no low opinion of the soldiers of foot, for while they wash little and cannot read nor write and live in unheated huts and tend pigs… but verily they are the salt of the earth, and the charges and chattel of our wise Baron. I know he would want you to bring as many of them back with us as possible after the campaign, so that they may once more tend our Liege’s fields in the backbreaking daily labour that gives their simple hearts such joy.” The chastened Paladin nodded in reluctant agreement.

“There is one final thing before battle, my fellow Knights…” Sir Cumfrence took out his sword and lowered himself to one knee, in prayer. His fellow Paladins and the assembled Knights solemnly followed suit. “By your Grace, Our Most Noble Lady, give us this day victory against the greenskin abominations, so that we may cleanse this land by the sword and bring to it peace and beauty. Let us cleave them and despoil their villages and raze their fungus and slaughter their snotlings and trample their broken bodies, and other such noble knightly deeds as do bring honour upon we your humble Knightly servants, upon Clan Calhew, and upon the Bretonnian lands of our birth.” And with this, a heavenly light did shine upon the Knights, and thus they did feel protected.

And so the battle was joined…

TURN 1

As the Bretonnian army stopped to pray, the greenskins artillery let fly–with little effect: the Spear Chucka missed and Rock Lobba both missed . However Shaman Waaghcasta envoked Gork’s Warpath, bringing a huge green foot thumping down on the Pegasus Knights (killing one, and forcing a panic test–which they only just passed) before treading on the Knights Errant (and doing no damage.. damn ward saves).

Encouraged by at least the semblance of competent shamans, the rest of the greenskin army moved forward to do battle, with the Night Goblin Archers showing particular enthusiasm and surging forward a little more than the others. On the west and east flanks, Spider Riders skittered forward too, hoping to harass the approaching Knights.

The Snotlings maneuvered a bit, and whined. No one ever took them seriously, dammit! Why were they deployed here, on a flank, next to a woods, with no foes to fight? How would they ever prove their martial skills, and finally earn some respect?

As expected, the Bretonnians responded by holding their centre and advancing the cavalry on both flanks. The Pegasus Knights (who, had they spent less time charming the ladies of the court, and more time carefully reading the rules, would have stopped short of the woods and charged in next turn on the ground) pounced upon the Spider Riders in Slugworry Woods, routing them quickly and pursuing.

TURN 2

As the Spider-Riders on the west fled the battlefield, the Goblin Spear and Bow in the centre continued to advance. The other Spider Riders positioned themselves to flank the approaching Knights, while the Snotlings bravely moved to block (and possibly distract) the rapidly approaching Knights. Magic did little, while the Rock Lobba misfired.

Flush with success from vanquishing the Forest Goblins, the Pegasus Knights charged the Spear Chucka on Big Lumpy Hill. In a flash of steel the crew was cut down, and the victorious Bretonnians pressed on to assault the Rock Lobba crew. In the centre, the Peasant Skirmishers advanced against the approaching Night Goblins, hoping to draw out any fanatics that might be lurking in their ranks. This they did, with no fewer than six mushroom-crazed gobbos whirling launching themselves forward. At least two smashed into the Skirmishers, panicking them. Confident words from Sir Cumfrence, however, reassured the Men-at-Arms and their morale held despite the sight of bloodied and fearful bowmen streaming past them.

To the east, smoke rose from the Gobbo village as the Knights Errant torched it before pressing on. The Knights of the Realm advanced too, although their pace was slowed by the presence of the Spider Riders on their flanks.

The Snotlings readied themselves. Their moment would come soon! They would show these Knights! Why, they were just as good as Orcs and Goblins!

TURN 3

Rottingbones Waaghcasta looked with dismay at the carnage on Big Lumpy. His Forest Goblins had routed, his Spear Chukka crew had been slaughtered, and the damned Pegasus Knights, although somewhat reduced in their already small number, were about to destroy the Rock Lobba. Soon after that they would no doubt come swooping down on the rear of the Goblin Army.

In an attempt to avert this, he ordered the Yellow Moon Regiment to turn about face, and move to confront the flying horsemen. Perhaps a lucky spell or two, or the sharp end of massed Night Goblin spears, would drive back the foe. Sadly, bereft of his wise leadership, the Trolls reverted to their usual stupid form, and lumbered forward only slowly. The Blue Moon Regiment advanced on the Peasant Bowmen, while the Night Goblin Bow traded arrows with them . Various Fanatics twirled around dangerously on the battlefield, but did little damage. Finally, on the east flank, the Spider-Riders decided to fall upon the rear of the Knights of the Realm, hoping that a victory here might slow Bretonnian’s flanking maneuver.

Sadly it wasn’t to be so. The Spiders had little success piercing the thick armour (and lucky ward saves) of the Knights, and were quickly routed.

As expected, the haughty Pegasus Knights made short work of the Gobbos cowering behind the Rock Lobba. Sir Comference and Sir Tandeath, somewhat worried by the sight of the broken Peasant Skirmishers continuing to flee past them, shifted position slightly so as to better support the Archers should they too be charged. The general also signaled the Knights Errant, who despite their normal impetuosity had not charged the Snotlings, to turn around and move to reinforce the Bretonnian centre. The Knights of the Realm chose to ignore the fleeing Spiders, and instead pressed on through the gap between the Snotlings and Glorg’s Pond to threaten the mass of remaining Night Goblins.

The Snotlings knew that any moment now, combat would begin… that the fate of the greenskin army might rest in their tiny little hands…
TURN 4

Clearly the Greenskin battleplan was unravelling. While nothing seemed able to stop the Bretonnian Knights, a success against the remaining Peasant Bow and Men-at-Arms at the centre might go some way to redressing the balance. With this, the Blue Moon Regiment charged the former, scrambling through their defensive stakes to engage them in fierce hand to hand combat. The Peasants, unused to this, soon broke and turned to flee–only to be cut down to a man. Grimly, Sir Tandeath drew his sword to face the onrushing Night Goblins, who overran into him.

Suddenly, the cries of the Knights Errant could be heard rounding the smoldering village. One fell to the arrows of the Night Goblin Bow, and a single fanatic was launched in their direction to no effect. With a crash, the Knights smashed into the Blue Moon Regiment, breaking and slaughtering it.

To the west, as expected, the small but heroic contingent of Pegasus Knights charged the Yellow Moon Regiment. Although the Night Goblin Spears proved a tougher enemy than the war machines and spiders had been, the Knights made ward saves against every hit. They thus narrowly won the combat–but failed to break the Gobbos.

Finally, the Knights of the Realm continued their flanking maneuver, ignoring the Snotlings and galloping towards the greenskin rear.

For the Snotlings, this was the ultimate insult! Abused and derided by their Orc and Gobbo cousins, they were now treated by the enemy as unworthy of even killing. They could only jeer and make off-colour comments about the Bretonnians’ parentage as the enemy cavalry galloped past.

TURN 5

The three trolls, having suffered stupidity in the last two turns, finally realized that they were supposed to hurt the pinkskins. With a roar, they charged into the halberd-wielding Men-at-Arms… and did very little. Defeated in combat, they broke and were killed.

The Yellow Moon Regiment continued its fight against the Pegasus Knights. During their desperate struggle, a stray fanatic released earlier bounded through both units, killing a few Goblins and one Pegasus, but changing nothing. Rather more effect was had by the Knights of the Realm, who charged headlong into the Goblin flank. The result, as might be expected, was a slaughter, with the head of Shaman Waaaghcasta last seen being paraded proudly on the point of Sir Perfluous’ lance.

With this, the Snotlings decided they didn’t want to be Goblins or Orcs or even Trolls after all. Noooo, being small, ignored, but still-alive Snotlings was juuuust fine. Yes indeedy. As the victorious Bretonnians prepared to slaughter the now surrounded Night Goblin Bows, the little guys quietly slunk from the battlefield…

EPILOGUE

Ouch.. we didn’t even play the full six turns, since the complete slaughter of the Goblin Army was fully evident by the end of Turn 5 (Snotlings excluded, of course).

It was our first time using Bretonnians. My opponent handled them well, holding in the centre while sweeping around the flank. He had done an excellent job sacrificing his peasants to draw out my fanatics, leaving my units vulnerable to his Knights. The Pegasus Knights had performed well, and had some lucky rolls.. had they broken under magical assault I might have been left with war engines intact, which in turn (had I been lucky) might have done some real damage against his cavalry. As it was, the Rock Lobba got only one shot off, missed, misfired, and then was destroyed.

I’m going to have to work out how to deal with a highly mobile enemy with high armour saves, and a ward save to top it off (for his Knights, at least). Was it a mistake to go after his centre–should I have used the weight of my foot gobbos on one flank or the other? Are war engines too vulnerable to flyers, or do I simply need to protect them better? How useful are shamans (I rarely use them, since I usually fight magic-resistant Dwarves)? Would a Giant (which I don’t have) or a Wyvern (which I do) be useful, and how to I stop it from being shot down by longbows? Should I swap in a Chariot for the Trolls?

Much to ponder.